英语幽默笑话精选(13)

这是我在平时的英语学习中见到的自认为经典的英语笑话,他们的语言地道,精炼准确,很适合中小学,高中,大学生自行学习,可背诵,再叙述,熟读等配合学习,希望对大家有所帮助!更多精彩期待中!

Teacher: Please tell us.

Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow. 答非所问！

[ 2007-06-29 08:00 ]

Teacher: Maria, go to the map and find North America.

Maria: Here it is!

Teacher: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?

Class : Maria!

You're not going to make it

[ 2007-06-28 09:42 ]

Gravely ill, a man went to the doctor with his wife. After the examination the physician motioned for the wife to meet him in the hallway.

"Your husband is very sick," the doctor said, "but there are three things you can do to ensure his survival. First, fix him three healthful, delicious meals a day. Next, give him a stress-free environment, and don't complain about anything. Finally, care for him with love every day."

On the drive home the husband asked, "What did the doctor say?"

"I'm sorry," she said, "but you're not going to make it."

谁的狗最聪明？

[ 2007-06-27 08:56 ]

Four friends were arguing over whose dog was the smartest. The first man, an engineer, called to his dog, "T Square, show your stuff." The dog trotted over to a desk, pulled out a paper and pencil, and drew a perfect triangle.

The next guy, an accountant, called to his dog, "Slide Rule, go ahead." The dog went to the kitchen, nibbled opened a bag of cookies and divided the contents into four equal piles.

The next man, a chemist, beckoned his dog, Beaker, to show what he could do. The dog went to the fridge, took out a quart of milk and poured out exactly eighty ounces into a measuring cup.

The last man was a government worker. "Coffee Break," he hollered to his dog, "go to it". With that, the dog jumped to his feet, soiled the paper, ate the cookies and drank the milk.

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