responded to the challenge of their lives by a disciplined 你的生活环境。由此，我们的生活经验总象是去training: and they gained a new freedom. The second opportunity we can give our boys and girls 证实并因此而加强我们的自我心象。并且，也就视具体情况不同而建立起一套恶性或良性循环。 例如，一位把自己看作“失败”型的学is the right to failure. \校男生，一位数学上很“笨”的学生，将总是发it is a test,\writes De Nouy. What kind of a test is it, what 现他的成绩报告单往往证明他判断的正确性。于是他便有了“证据”。一位自我心象为不讨人喜kind of freedom where no one can fail The day is past when 欢的小女孩，会发现在学校的舞会上大家确实老the United States can afford to give high school diplomas to 是躲着她。她的的确确是在自寻冷遇。她那一脸all who sit through four years of instruction, regardless of 苦相、羞臊的举止、过于想取悦别人的心态，或whether any visible results can be discerned. We live in a narrowed world where we must be alert, awake to realism; and 者也许是她无意之间对她觉得会冒犯她的人的敌意，这一切把她本应能够吸引过来的人都赶走了。同样地，一位售货员或一位商人也会发现他实际realism demands a standard which either must be met or result 经历过的事趋向于“证明”他的自我心象是正确in failure. These are hard words, but they are brutally true. If we deprive our children of the right to fail we deprive them of their knowledge of the world as it is. 无误的。 由于有这个客观的“证明”，一个人就很难发觉他的问题正是出在他的自我心象或他对自己的评价上。告诉那位男生他只是“认为”自 Finally, we can expose our children to the best values 己无法学会代数。那他就会怀疑你的判断力。他试了又试，可成绩单却总是一样。告诉售货员他we have found. By relating our lives to the evidences of the 挣的钱不会超过某个数字也只是一个想法而已。ages, by judging our philosophy in the light of values that 他就会拿出订单证明你错了。他太了解他曾怎样history has proven truest, perhaps we shall be able to produce 艰苦地尝试过并失败了的。然而，就象我们将要that \message, full of content and truth, satisfying 看到的那样，学生的成绩和售货员的业务能力几乎是奇迹般地改变了在他们听劝改变自我心象之the mind, appealing to the heart, firing the will, a message 后。 on which one can stake his whole life.\that could mean joy and strength and leadership -- freedom as opposed to serfdom. ２、自我心象能被改变。大量例子表明无论年长或年幼都可改变自我心象并由此开始新的生活。一个很难让人改变其生活习惯、人格或，其生活方式的原因之一仍是：到目前为止，几乎所有的试图改变的努力都是朝着可以说是自我的 Your Key to a Better Life 外围，而不是中心进行的。很多病人对我说了如下的话： “如果你要讲什么‘积极思维’我以前The most important psychological of this century is the 早试过了，只是对我无效。”然而，如果细问一discovery of the \we realize it or not, 下，我们就会明白这些人所用的“积极思维”或each of us carries about with us a mental blueprint or picture of ourselves. It may be vague and ill-defined to our conscious 他们想要用的“积极思维”，只是针对某个具体的外部情况，\或是一些个别的习惯或性格缺陷（“我要得到那份工作”） “以后我要更冷静和gaze. In fact, it may not be consciously recognizable at all. 放松。” “这次商业冒险会对我有利”等等，但But it is there, complete down to the last detail. This self-image is our own conception of the \of person I am.\是他们从未想过要改变对将去干这些事的“自我”的看法。 耶稣警告我们把一块新布补在旧衣上，It has been built up from our own beliefs about ourselves. 或是把新酒倒入旧瓶中都是愚蠢的。 “积极思But most of these beliefs about ourselves have unconsciously 维”不可能被有效地当做一个补丁或拐杖用于旧的自我心象上。事实上，你绝对不会积极地去思been formed our past experiences, our successes and failures, 考某个具体问题，如果你是对自我持的是否定态our humiliations, our triumphs, and the way other people have 度的话并且，大量实验表明：一旦关于自我的概reacted to us, especially in early childhood. From all these 念改变了，其他与新自我相一致的事物就很容易we mentally construct a \(or a picture of a self). Once an idea or a belief about ourselves goes into this picture 完成，且无需绞尽脑汁。 已故普斯科特莱基曾作过一个实验，也是最早期且最具说服力的实验之一。自我心象心it becomes \理学先驱之一，他假定个性是一个思想体系，其do not question its validity, but proceed to act upon it just as if it were true. 中所有的思想看上去必须是相互一致、相互协调的。与该体系不一致的思想是被排斥的，不被相信的并且不被用作行动的指南。而与该系统相一 This self-image becomes a golden key to living a 致的思想则被接受。在这个思想体系的最中心—better life because of two important discoveries: 1. All your actions, feelings, behavior -- even your abilities -- are always consistent with this self-image. 核心思想—其他思想均建立在其之上的基础思想就是 一个人的“自我概念”，他的“自我心象”，或他对自己的否定。莱基是位学校教师， In short, you will \因此有机会在学生中检验他的理论。 conceive yourself to be. Not only this, but you literally 根据莱基的理论，如果一位学习某门功课有困难，这可能是因为（从学生的角度看）他cannot act otherwise, in spite of all your conscious efforts 不合适于那门课。然而莱基相信如果你能够改变or will power. The man who conceives himself to be a \学生之所以有这种观点的自我认定的模式，他对type person\good intentions, or his will power, even if opportunity is 那门课的态度也会随之改变。如果学生听劝改变他的自我定义，他的学习能力也将改变。这一点已经被证实。一位写100个词就错55个，并由于literally dumped in his lap. The person who conceives himself 多门功课不及格而失去了一年学分的学生，在第to be a victim of injustice, one \二年里每门成绩平均９１分，并成为学校拼写最好者之一；一位由于成绩不佳而从学院退学的男will invariably find circumstances to verify his opinions. 生进了哥伦比亚大学并成为全优生，一位４次都 The self-image is a \a base, or a foundation 没通过拉丁文考试的女生在与学校顾问谈了三次upon which your entire personality, your behavior, and even 话后，拉丁语课程以８４分通过了，一位被一个your circumstances are built. Because of this our experiences 考试机关告之他没有学英语的天赋的男生第二年获得了文学荣誉奖。 seem to verify, and thereby strengthen our self-images, and a vicious or a beneficent cycle, as the case may be, is set up. 这些学生的问题不是他们笨或缺乏基本能力。问题在于一个不正确的自我心象（“我没有学数学的脑袋”， “我天生写不好字”）他们认为自己与错误和失败是共存的。他们不是说： For example, a schoolboy who sees himself as an \“我那次考试失败了”（事实上的，描述性的）type student, or one who is \in mathematics,\will 而是下结论道：“我是个失败者。”他们不是说：“我那门功课考糟了”而是说：“我是个糟糕的invariably find that his report card bears him out. He then 学生。”对于那些有兴趣多读点莱基的著作的人，has \我推荐一本他的书：《自我一致，一个关于个性的sort of person nobody likes, will find indeed that she is 理论》海岛出版社，纽约州，纽约市。 avoided at the school dance. She literally invites rejection. Her woebegone expression, her hang-dog manner, her over-anxiousness to please, or perhaps her unconscious hostility towards those she anticipates will affront her - all act to drive away those whom she would attract. In the same manner, a salesman or a businessman will also find that 尾声(摘自牛虻) 她手里拿着信，静静地站了一会儿，然后在敞开的窗旁坐下读了起来。信是用铅笔写的，密his actual experiences tend to \密麻麻，有些地方几乎难以辨认了，但头两个字correct. Because of this objective \it very seldom occurs to a person that his trouble lies in his self-image 却清晰地跃然纸上，字是用英语写的： “亲爱的吉姆，” 字迹突然变得模糊不清，象蒙上了一层雾。她又一次失去了他—又一次失去了他！一看or his own evaluation of himself. Tell the schoolboy that he 到那熟悉的带孩子气的小名，她的心又一次被那only \he cannot master algebra, and he will doubt your sanity. He has tried and tried, and still his report card tells the story. Tell the salesman that it is only an idea that he cannot earn more than a certain figure, and he can prove you wrong by his order book. He knows only too well how hard he 种失去亲人无助的痛楚所攫住。她茫然绝望地伸出双手，好象压盖在他身上的土块，正沉沉地压向自己的心上。 不一会，她又拿起信，接着往下读： “明天一早，太阳升起之时，我就要被枪毙；所以如果我真的要信守诺言，告诉你一切的话，现在就必须兑现了。不过，我们之间毕竟has tried and failed. Yet, as we shall see later, almost 没有多少需要解释的。我们彼此总能心领神会，miraculous changes have occurred both in grades of students, 不需过多的言语；甚至当我们还是两个小不点的and in the earning capacity of salesmen - when they were prevailed upon to change their self-images. 时候就已如此了。” “所以，亲爱的，你不必再为过去的那一耳光而伤心了；当然，那是重重的一击,但是我 2. The self-image can be changed. Numerous case 一生中经受过多次如此沉重的打击，我都设法挺过来了，—甚至还反击了几次。此刻，我仍象我histories have shown that one is never too young nor too old 们读过的小人书里（书名我忘记了）的那条鲭鱼to change his self-image and thereby start to live a new life. One of the reasons it has seemed so difficult for a person 那样“活蹦乱跳的哟！”。不过这是我最后一跳了，明天一早，“喜剧结束了！”你我也可这样翻译：“杂耍结束了”同时，我们还得感谢众神，to change his habits, his personality, or his way of life, 至少，他们给了我们如此多的恩惠，虽不是大恩has been that heretofore nearly all efforts at change have 大惠，这就算是幸运的了。对这一切和其他所有been directed to the circumference of the self, so to speak, 的恩赐，我们真应该好好感谢！ “还是明天早上的那件事，我希望你和rather than to the center. Numerous patients have said to me 玛蒂尼都能清楚地明白：我十分地快活和满足，something like the following: \you are talking about 不能向命运之神要求更好的结局了。请替我把这'positive thinking', I've tried that before, and it just doesn't work for me.\However, a little questioning 些话转达给玛蒂尼；他是一个好人，一个好同志，他会理解的。亲爱的，你瞧，我知道那些极端保守的人这么急于恢复秘密审讯和秘密处决实际上invariably brings out that these individuals have employed 是帮了我们的忙，而给他们自己帮了倒忙。我也\particular external circumstances, or upon some particular 知道，如果你们活下来的人紧密地团结在一起奋力反击，你们就会取得伟大的胜利。至于我，我会象准备回家度假的孩子那样，带着轻松的心情habit or character defect (\走到外面的院子里去。我已经完成了我的那份工be more calm and relaxed in the future.\\business 作，这死刑判决正好证明了我工作完成得十分彻venture will turn out right for me,\etc.) But they had never thought to change their thinking of the \accomplish these things. Jesus warned us about the folly of putting a patch of new material upon an old garment, or of putting new wine 底。他们杀了我，是因为他们害怕我。一个人能这样，还渴望得到别的什么呢？ “不过，我还渴望一件事情。一个快要死的人有权拥有个人幻想，我的愿望就是让你明白我为什么一直对你象头愠怒的野兽，为什么老是忘不掉宿怨。当然，你是清楚的，但是我还是想告诉你，仅仅是为了享受写这几个字的乐趣，into old bottles. \thinking\cannot be used 我爱过你，琼玛，当你还是个身穿花条布衫背后effectively as a patch or a crutch to the same old self-image. In fact, it is literally impossible to really think positively 拖着一条辫子的丑丫头时，我就爱上了你。现在依然爱你。你还记得那天我吻了你的手，而你却央求我：“再别这样干了”这件事吗我知道这是about a particular situation, as long as you hold a negative 一个卑劣的手段，但你一定要原谅我，现在我又concept of self. And, numerous experiments have shown that 吻着写有你名字的信纸。所以，我已经吻过你两once the concept of self is changed, other things consistent with the new concept of self, are accomplished easily and without strain. One of the earliest and most convincing experiments 次了，每次都没经过你的同意。 “就说这些，别了，亲爱的。” 信尾没有签名，而是写着他们童年时一起学过的一首诗句： “不管我活着还是死去，我都是一只快乐的飞虻。” along this line was conducted by the late Prescott Lecky, one of the pioneers in self-image psychology. Lecky conceived of the personality as a \of ideas\all of which must seem 半个小时后，玛蒂尼走进房间，见状猛然一惊，一下子冲破半生的沉默；他丢下手中的布告，一把抱住琼玛。 “琼玛！看在上帝的份上，你这是怎么了别to be consistent with each other. Ideas which are inconsistent 这样哭泣—你从来不哭的！琼玛！我亲爱的琼玛！” with the system are rejected, %upon. Ideas which seem to be consistent with the system are “没什么，彻萨雷；我以后再告诉你—我—现在没法说。” 她匆匆地把那封沾满泪水的信偷偷塞进accepted. At the very center of this system of ideas -- the 口袋，起身探出窗外，不让他看到自己的脸。玛keystone -- the base upon which all else is built, is the 蒂尼咬着自己的小胡子，一言不发。经过这么多individual's \ideal,\his \or his conception of himself. Lecky was a school teacher and had an opportunity to test his theory upon thousands of students. Lecky theorized that if a student had trouble learning a certain subject, it could be because (from the student's point of view) it would be inconsistent for him to 年以后他终于象一个小学生一样暴露了自己的真实感情—而她却甚至没有察觉到！ “大教堂的钟响了，”过了一会儿她控制住了自己，转过头来说，“一定是有人死了。” “我就是想来告诉你这件事。”玛蒂尼用他平日的声调回答到。他从地上拾起布告递给她。 这是一份加了黑边框的公告，是用大号learn it. Lecky believed, however, that if you could change 字体匆匆地印刷出来的：“我们敬爱的主教，罗the student's self-conception, which underlies this viewpoint, his attitude toward the subject would change 伦梭尼里红衣主教阁下，”在拉文纳溘然长逝。因心脏动脉瘤破裂。” 她的眼睛迅速地离开了布告向上瞥了一accordingly. If the student could be induced to change his 下，玛蒂尼看出了她眼中暗示的意思，于是耸耸selfdefinition, his learning ability should also change. This proved to be the case. One student who misspelled 55 words out of a hundred and flunked so many subjects that he lost credit for a year, made a general average of 91 the next year and became one of the best spellers in school. A boy who was 肩说： “你还会怎么说呢，夫人”动脉瘤可是一个最贴切的词了。” 科学与科学态度 科学是关于自然的知识主体，代表了人类集dropped from one college because of poor grades, entered 体的努力，洞察力，新发现和智慧。科学不是某Columbia and became a straight \种新事物，它始于有文字记载的历史前，人类首次发现其周围重复出现的事物之间的各种关系之flunked Latin four times, after three talks with the school 时。 通过对这些相互关系的仔细观察，他们开始counselor, finished with a grade of 84. A boy who was told 认识自然，又由于自然的可靠性，他们发现自己by a testing bureau that he had no aptitude for English, won honorable mention the next year for a literary prize. 可以预测未来从而能够对周围环境实施某种程度上的控制。 在十六世纪，科学取得了最大的进步。
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