Copyright Xu Jie all 2010
双语笑话Bilingual Joke
Person is hard to learn English and finally learn very well. One day he knocked into a foreigner He said: I am sorry.
The foreigners said: I am sorry too. He heard this said: I am sorry three.
Foreigners did’t understand, asked: What are you sorry for? Howeve, he feeled bad,say: I am sorry five
某人刻苦学习英语，终有小成。一日上街不慎与一老外相撞，忙说：I am sorry。 老外应道：I am sorry too。 某人听后又道：I am sorry three。
老外不解，问：What are you sorry for? 某人无奈，道：I am sorry five。
TOM'S EXCUSE <汤姆的借口>
Teacher: Tom, why are you late for school every day?
Tom: Every time I come to the corner, a sign says, \
老师：汤姆，您为什么每天上学迟到？
汤姆：我每次路过拐角，一个路标上面写着：\学校----慢行。
Too Fast or Too Slow <太慢或太快>
A man was driving at 130 miles an hour when a policeman overtook him. \
\
一个男人正在以130英里每小时的速度行驶，当一个警察看见他时， 他问：“我开的太快了吗？警官。” “不”，警察说，“你飞的太慢了。”
He is really somebody <他真是一个大人物> -- My uncle has 1000 men under him.
-- He is really somebody. What does he do? -- A maintenance man in a cemetery.
-- 我叔叔下面有1000个人。 -- 他真是一个大人物。干什么的？ -- 墓地守墓人。
Express Love <表达爱>
Boy:Honey,There are no words to express my love for you Girl:Then you can use money to express it.
小伙子:亲爱的,我对你的爱,简直无法用语言来表达. 姑娘:那你就用金钱来表达吧!
Copyright Xu Jie all 2010
Jack feell off his bicycle and got hurt.
A beautiful young nurse asked him to fill forms.
Jack finished them and gave them back.\ \
杰克骑车摔伤,得住院治疗.一位年轻美貌的护士拿着表格让填.杰克填好递上表格. \还有什么漏填的?\护士问. \有!\杰克想了想说,\我是个单身汉.\
True or False <真的还是假的>
One day a young businessman asked his girl friend, \ \
\ \
一天一个年轻的商人问他女朋友：“亲爱的，如果我破产了你还会嫁给我吗？” “当然会。”女孩坚定的回答。 “你是说真的吗？”他问道。 “这正是我想问你的问题。”女孩说。
One day,Eve asked Adam,\Adam said helplessly,\
一天,夏娃问亚当:\你当真爱我吗?\亚当无可奈何地回答:\我还有的选择吗?\
A man and a woman in love. Girls doesn’t feel safe,
So said her boyfriend: \Man replied: \
有一对热恋中的男女。女生非常没有安全感。
于是对着男友说:“SAY I LOVEYOU!! SAY IT! SAY IT! SAY IT!” 男的答道:“I T!”
A Present <凯特的礼物>
Kate: Mom, do you know what I\Mom: No, Honey, what? Kate: A nice teapot.
Mom: But I\
Kate: No, you haven\
凯特：妈妈，你知道我要给你一件什么生日礼物吗？ 妈妈：不知道，宝贝，是什么呀？ 凯特：一把漂亮的茶壶。
妈妈：可是我已经有一把漂亮的茶壶了呀。 凯特：不，你没有了。我刚刚把它给摔了。
Copyright Xu Jie all 2010
The Doctor Knows Better <医生懂得多>
A man was hit by a cab in the street. He was brought to the hospital.
His wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: \\
Hearing this, the man moved his head and said: \\
一个男人在街上被出租车撞倒送进了医院。
他的妻子站在他的床前对医生说：“我想他伤得很厉害。” 医生说：“恐怕他已经死了。”
听到医生的话，这个男人转动着头说：“我没死，我还活着。” 妻子说：“安静，医生比你懂得多。”
Who's More Polite? <谁更有礼貌?>
A fat man and a skinny man were arguing about who was the more polite.
The skinny man said he was more polite because he always tipped his hat to ladies. But the fat man knew he was more polite.
because, whenever he got up and offered his seat, two ladies could sit down.
一个胖子和一个瘦子在争论谁更有礼貌。瘦子说他更有礼貌，因为他经常对女士摘帽示意。但是胖子认为他更有风度，因为无论什么时候他在车上给别人让座时，总有两位女士能坐下。
Give up your seat to a lady <给女士让座>
Little Johnny says \me to give up my seat to a lady.\
\ \
小强尼说：“妈妈，今天早上和爸爸在公车上时，他叫我让座给一位女士。” 妈妈说：“你做得很对呀。”
“但是，妈妈，我是坐在爸爸膝盖上的。”
Essay <作文>
Teacher had set his class an essay in\
After two minutes Simon Steel handed his paper in and was allowed to go home. His essay read:\
老师给学生出了个作文题:\一场板球赛\两分钟后,西蒙.斯蒂尔交了作文,老师允许他回家了.他在作文上写道:\下雨,比赛终止.\
End
Copyright Xu Jie all 2010
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