教材1第1课-final(5)

For instance, people who have a positive sense of self-worth or high self-esteem usually act with confidence. Because they have self-assurance1, they do not need constant praise and encouragement from others to feel good about themselves.

Self-confident people participate in life enthusiastically and spontaneously. They are not affected by what others think they ―should‖ do. People with high self-esteem are not hurt by criticism; they do not regard criticism as a personal attack. Instead, they view a criticism as a suggestion for improvement.

3 In contrast, shy people, having low self-esteem, are likely to be passive and easily influenced by others. T hey need reassurance that they are doing ―the right thing.‖ Shy people are very sensitive2to criticism; they feel it confirms their inferiority. They also find it difficult to be pleased by compliments because they believe they are unworthy of praise. A shy person may respond to a compliment with a statement like this one: ―You‘re just saying that to make me feel good. I know it‘s not true.‖ It is clear that, while3self-awareness is a healthy quality, overdoing it is detrimental, or harmful.

4 Can shyness be completely eliminated, or at least reduced? Fortunately, people can overcome shyness with determined and patient effort in building self-confidence. Since shyness goes hand in hand with lack of self-esteem, it is important for people to accept their weaknesses as well as their strengths. For example, most people would like to be ―A‖ students in every subject. It is not fair for them to label themselves as inferior because they have difficulty in some areas. People‘s expectations of themselves must be realistic. Dwelling on the impossible leads to a sense of inadequacy, and even feelings of envy, or jealousy. We are self-destructive when we envy a student who gets better grades.

5 If you are shy, here are some specific helpful steps toward building self-confidence and overcoming shyness:

6 1. Recognize your personal strengths and weaknesses. Everyone has both. As self-acceptance grows, shyness naturally diminishes.

7 2. Set reasonable goals. For example, you may be timid about being with a group of strangers at a party. Don‘t feel that you must converse with everyone. Concentrate on talking to only one or two people. You will feel more comfortable.

8 3. Guilt and shame are destructive feelings. Don‘t waste time and energy on them. Suppose you ha ve hurt someone‘s feelings. Feeling ashamed accomplishes nothing. Instead, accept the fact that you have made a mistake, and make up your mind to be more sensitive2 in the future.

9 4. There are numerous approaches to all issues. Few opinions are complet ely right or wrong. Don‘t be afraid to speak up and give your point of view.

10 5. Do not make negative comments about yourself. This is a form of self-rejection. Avoid describing yourself as stupid, ugly, a failure. Accent the positive.

11 6. Accept criticism thoughtfully. Do not interpret it as a personal attack. If, for example, a friend complains about your cooking, accept it as a comment on 15 20 25 30 35 40 45 50 55

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